It's really hard for me to look at my own faults. When someone confronts me about something I did in the past (that I'm ashamed of) my first instinct is to lie. Once that passes, I want to explain it away, contextualize the situation. Or make excuses, or say I did that because so and so is an asshole or that's not really what happened.

The truth is, there are no excuses. Even if so and so was an asshole or if there were extenuating circumstances, I did the wrong thing. I have to face that. And most of the time every time, it's hard. To take 100% responsibility for what I did because I want to be an awesome rockstar who never does anything wrong and that everyone loves. But that's not realistic. Even if I hadn't been a complete bitch most of my life. Unfortunately, I have been. And now I have to swallow my pride and suck it up and admit my faults. While this is very difficult, it's growth. And it's lovely.