Horror Review: Sinister

On Thursday, I organized a whole event with some friends to see this on opening night. Here's the trailer if you aren't familiar:

The only time to see a horror movie in the theater is opening night, am I right? Everyone else there luuuuurvs horror movies as much as I do, it's night time, people are interactive with the movie, people scream and laugh. It's just wonderful.

I felt like Sinister has all the aspects of a good scary movie: lots of darkness, a supernatural/occult aspects, creepy children, weird home movies (those can go either way). Oh em gee, guys, I was sooooo wrong. If this movie had had a different soundtrack, it wouldn't be scary at all (way to go Nicholas Triarchos). The combination of loud and unsettling noises with the shock value of things jumping out of the dark kept it going for about 30 minutes. After that, I was wondering if they had anything else. Spoiler alert: they don't.

Also, also Ethan Hawke's character, Ellison (which sounds so much like Allison it's offputting) is a writer. So, he wears cardigans all the time?

This is an insult to writers everywhere, although I like this cardi. It's very Mr. Rogers-y
(P.S. Mr. Hawke is only 42 but this character acts about 64)

Bottom line, this film was a huuuuuge disappointment for me (come on, Ethan!! I believe in you!) I saw an interview with him on WWHL (of course, more Bravo!) The acting wasn't great (you're all super pretty though) and the "evil spirit" looked like a dude in a doctored Scream mask. For reals, yo. My friend and I rewrote the movie in the car on the way home. Our version is way scarier and in general just awesome.

FYI, this shit:

Isn't scary.