Three Years Reflection

Pictures from the amazing going away party my friends threw me

One of my friends IMed me last week that she wants to be a graphic designer. And live in New York. And have a cute dog. And a blog.

This got me thinking. Three years ago this week, I lost my job. Chico's dad and I broke up a couple months earlier, and I was still having a hard time with the break up. I had no idea what I wanted to do with myself. I was simply floating through my life grabbing onto one this after the next and I felt as if I couldn't get my head above water. Day after day, I perused job listings. The only thing was, I didn't know what I wanted to do. Two years before, I'd dropped out of my feminist rhetoric graduate program because it wasn't what was promised to me by the school (not to mention I wasn't mature enough for it). I'd planned on getting my PhD in writing for so long I felt it defined me. I was no longer pursuing that dream and I didn't know who I was without it.  I was a nobody with a shitty prospects and no hope and now no job and no boyfriend.

For about a year, I'd been toying with the idea of going back to school for design. I knew it was going to be difficult for me to "find my thing" with an BA in english. Let's face it, it just means you have been trained to do a little of everything and a whole lot of nothing; not to mention planning on getting your PhD is a lot less cool than actually having one.

I talked with many many friends and family members. I went to check out a couple of design programs in Atlanta and chose one for me. And I've never looked back. Even when I hadn't slept for days and I was having anxiety break downs, I knew I'd made the right decision. I didn't have anything to go back to.

Going to the school I did forced me to take a look a myself in ways I'd never been desperate enough to do before. I'd never struggled or work as hard as I did in that school. I learned sooo much about myself (this lesson was more valuable than all I learned from design) and what I'd been doing before wasn't working for me any more. I pretty much changed everything about my life and myself. I threw out the bad and kept the good (this includes people, clothing, character defects, beliefs, ect).

It's amazing how much has changed and how much happier and fulfilled I am now. In just 3 short years, I have almost everything I've ever wanted for myself: happiness, peace and meaningful friendships.