Kurt Russell is an Alien and other mysteries solved from watching "The Thing"


I finally watched The Thing. Not the new one, the 1982 one directed by John Carpenter. It's pretty shameful that I've just seen it. Spoilers ahead, guys. Fair warning. The movie did come out over 30 years ago, so.

I love the color and lighting of older John Carpenter movies. He does such a wonderful job setting the mood (or does someone else do that on sets, I have no idea how that stuff works). It's very simple things, such as subtle blue and red lighting that really make a difference.

But, yeah. I had no idea The Thing was about aliens. I've heard of it my whole life and I always assumed that it was up there with The Blob so I never bothered to watch it. It's not even close to The Blob (I don't actually know if it's like The Blob at all because I've never seen it). The Master of Horror himself (Mr. Carpenter calls himself that) directed it for crying out loud!


While over all the movie was pretty great, there were many little things which made it hard for me to suspend my disbelief. First of all, Antarctica. I know they needed it to take place in Antarctica for the frozen alien ship thing. However, Kurt Russell was walking around without a hat on for most of the movie. This wasn't even taking place in summer Antarctica, where it is warmer (but still cold as shit), this was taking place in winter Antarctica. I'm pretty sure it's too cold to go outside in the winter there (it is, I looked it up). I'm no expert, but you definitely can't continuously run around outside with no hat on. I'm looking at you, Kurt.

Also, still with Antarctica, I have no idea what these people were doing down there. There was one doctor and one guy who was maybe a scientist? Or something? Then a cook, a helicopter pilot and a guy who was in charge of the refrigerator keys? What the hell are these people doing in Antarctica? It's for scientists and stuff, getting grants and doing defined research. Probably even in the 80s. Not for people with no purpose to run around without hats on in the freezing temps.

Kurt! Put a hat on!
The people in the camp did start to suspect Kurt Russell of being an alien at several points in the plot, but I think they weren't taking into consideration his serious ability to survive freezing temperatures. Anyone who can run around in -40º with no hat and not freeze to death needs to be looked at with suspicion. I don't care how hot you are (young Kurt, I heart you).

The real alien, Kurt Russel
In conclusion, if you are a serious horror fan, like myself, and you have not watched The Thing (the original not the 2011 remake, which I will be watching just because I can't get enough horror but I'm sure it's a monstrosity. And yes, I plan to watch every single remake of Planet of the Apes they ever make because, it's Planet of the Apes, how can I miss that?!) you should watch it. And check out how Kurt is an alien who can survive extreme temps. That's the real mystery to this movie.